For our robust anti-hero, there is only one thing larger than his oversized girth and that is his insatiable appetite for turkey. Never one to turn down a meal of any description, his passion for the feathered gobbler knows no bounds, nor with it his behavior no limits. What began as a small craving from the intimate aching depths of his lower stomach, soon slips into an all consuming compulsive obsession for the bird that he so much desires. Make no bones about it, Gary will stop at nothing, in his one man quest, to fill that expanding chasm below his chest.

As blunt as the Berlin Wall and as charmless as a bowl of sauerkraut, Kurt has spent much of his life mastering the skills of small arms and cannon weaponry on the unlikely chance that someone or something may happen to storm his Bavarian Brick Castle one day. Prepared to the max and stuffed to the gunnels with a vast array of artillery and cannons, he does indeed have an outpost of considerable strength. Yet, as any old grandmother will tell you, preparation will only go so far,..

Armed with a large pistol and a rasping Texas drawl, Wayne has always lived by the adage ‘biggest is best’. A technology nut, with a fat wallet and an even fatter ego, he’s managed to purchase the ultimate safe house, with 15 ft walls and a security system that would make the Pentagon blush. So no surprise then that our ex GI is crowing with confidence from the rafters of his superbunker. What is it they say about pride before a fall?